Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Breathe in.

Pose : .::{B&Y}::. Wedding shoulder kiss

Location : Consent  (Event area, still under construction. Main area open!)

Santi is wearing :

Body & Hands : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 
Skin : STRAY DOG - Caleb
Head :  CATWA HEAD Daniel
Hair, hat & headphones : Nutmeg & Entwined. Cameron
Tattoo : Dappa - Akina
Watch : **RE** Raptor Watch

For the longest time I thought that SL was all I could do. I mean, I'm not an expert at it, but I've been using it for like, 10 years, which is almost forever. Of course, this isn't my original avatar and there's been several incarnations of 'Pickle' but she's pretty much the longest serving avatar I've had, minus an old *cough* work av *cough* and my child avatar who's just always been a kid (We'll maybe step into the child world sometime, but for now, yes, I have one, no, she's not a pervert and luckily I've not encountered much of that gross crap during her 9 year existence.) I've always wanted to try other games. I've joined in with people doing things for very brief periods - WoW, LoL, Rocket League, Tera, Final Fantasy... that's just a few I've dipped my toe into. 
For me, it was never about the game itself (although I do have to be able to 'invest' something into it), but more to do with the people I played with. If they had an interest, it was far easier for me to ease myself into it too. Unfortunately, I'd never met anyone with the patience to actually be like "Hey, you're doing alright.. try this!" which meant that often times I'd make a fool of myself and get told off by some non-noobalicious person in-game and feel like poop and just stop playing all together. I need the motivation of good people, basically, or at least a slight knowledge of how the thing works, through experience.
THIS IS WHERE THE SAP STARTS. Feel free to scroll where necessary lol.
I've never been one to sit and write down a bunch of feels. It's awkward, and I always wonder how genuine it makes me appear, but even with that anxious part of me going "Pickle, this is a terrible idea" another part of me wants to explain the inner workings of uh, well, me.
I've said before that having a positive person in my life has changed me immensely, and the whole playing games thing has changed with it. I can't tell you how lovely it is for someone like me, with all my foibles and weird little quirks to be able to nuzzle into someone so completely tuned in to me, some who squirrels away all the little details I vent/rant/cry/talk about and make all the things actually feel like all the things. His encouragement is a brand new kind of encouragement for me, and it's amazing and wonderful and brilliant and bright.
He's encouraged me to pick up other games, and will contentedly and patiently walk me through even when I'm having my stompy-feet-I-can't-do-it moments. 
And it's not just games, either. He's in my head telling me I can do the basics too!
When I'm having a bad day, he's there to say "It's ok."
When I'm having a good day, he'll tell me "I like hearing you smile!"
It's little things, tiny gestures that have always been missing. That I've done for others and they've fallen by the wayside, and linking back to the post I did about "Learning how to love each other", I feel like I've met someone who completely links in to how to love ME. I just hope I can do the same back, because I do not want this one to go anywhere.
Ok. I'm done. Listen to the song today... it made me tear up. <3

All of the Pickle things : 

Body : -Belleza- Freya 
Head : CATWA Uma
Skin : more more. nari skin_RARE1 (Gacha)
Eyelids & Lashes : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids
Tears : CURELESS [+] Collyrium Tears
Nose Bleed : -SU!- Nosebleed 
Hair : *barberyumyum*P01
Necklace : Amala - The Cara Necklace
Sweater : BUENO-Cozy Sweater @ Fameshed

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