Monday, 13 August 2018

I could have done better.

Pose : FOXCITY. Mens - Night Owl-6m (Fatpack Exclusive)

Location : Backdrop Cove Tropical Beach 

Today I've been thinking about the quote "We accept the love we think we deserve" and what that means to me.
For a long time, I don't think I equated "me" with "worthy of love", so every time I found something that seemed to present itself as affection, I gripped it with both hands and attempted to cling on, even when it wasn't right. That, or when it was "too good to be true" I felt like I was undeserving, and found excuses to run away from it, or put obstacles in the way - because why would anything be 'right'?
Another saying that goes along side this was phrased best (in my opinion) by RuPaul. "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" and this has been a bone of contention for me. I'm not saying I'm in love with me, I'm not. I have a long way to go before I think that can happen... but I definitely like myself a lot more than I have for a long while. Before, I thought that this saying was bullshit. I thought that despite me not loving me, or giving myself the attention I need, I was beyond capable of showing love. I wasn't, and I wonder if even now, I'm capable.
I do see a difference, already. In being kinder to myself, it's becoming easier to calm me when I get upset. I'm learning to listen to my gut far more than I have in the past, and if something feels bad I am able to quit out - often before I've worked out why it's bad. It's also easier for me to forgive and understand others. None of us are born perfect, and sometimes we make mistakes. 
I never seem to be able to write exactly what I want to say, or how I want to say it, but my message here remains the same as it always is, be kind to each other - but even more importantly, be kind to yourself.

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body
Skin :  Clef de Peau.Oscar TMD
Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 
Eyes : -SU!- Ophelia Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)
Glasses : MIRROR - Carbon Glasses TMD
Ears : AITUI - Snake Charmer Ears TMD
Hair : Dura-B86 TMD
Tattoo : DAPPA - Benson Tattoo @ Output Event
Pants : Lenox - Journey Sweats TMD

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