Thursday, 23 August 2018

Take me back.

Pose : FOXCITY Sits Vol2-6

Location : Southern Roots

I'm sure many of you get reflective moments. For me, I feel like they happen far too regularly. I have extreme issues 'letting go' of even the most toxic of people, so when I've walked away from some one who I genuinely adore because of my own past issues, I tend to over-examine every little detail.
Many times I've discussed my personal brand of crazy. I'm well aware that there are things I do that have been almost conditioned into me from previous relationships, and right now I feel like I am SO self aware that anything you can tell me about what you think I need, I am already aware of. 
The whole ordeal of moving on to become the best version of yourself is really stinkin' hard. Like - ridiculously hard. I didn't think I would encounter as much support, but I also wasn't aware of the people I would lose in the process, but it's impossible for everyone you know to grow at the same speed as you are.
The only way to describe what is happening in my head right now is like there was a blanket over me - almost as though I was a frightened little girl sitting on her bed, contentedly using her flashlight to read into fantasy books and ignoring the whirlwind of life around her, but now that blanket has been yanked away - although I'm still using it for comfort and clinging on desperately to a corner, unable to completely let go. But now? Now there's a whole storm of the rest of my life that needs to be tamed that I can see. Think of the Tornado at the beginning of the classic movie "The Wizard of Oz" where you have friends, family and places just swimming around you.
For me, right now I'm at the stage where i'm making grabby hands at the most important things. My health, my family, my home.
It's a fight I want to continue, no matter how hard it gets - and today, and for the past couple of weeks it HAS been difficult... but once this awkward patch has passed, I'm going to be back on it, grabbing at everyone and everything that is most important to me. I am determined to be a better me, regardless of how many people I leave in my wake - this is MY time.

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara
Skin (Head) : Not Found - Lia Skin Toffee (Catwa)
Skin (Body) : [TheSkinnery] Toffee
Head :  CATWA HEAD Magy
Eyes : -SU!- Ophelia Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)
Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears 
Hair : :::Phoenix::: Tisha Hair 
Outfit : .miss chelsea. Sade Top & .miss chelsea. Sade Shorts @ N21
Rings : KUNGLERS - Rowen rings @ Shiny Shabby
Boots : #EMPIRE - Gazania @ Kustom9

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