Friday, 14 September 2018

Friday night.

Pose : [LaBaguette] Imok 3 Mirr

Background : #selfie_RAMA- Vertical Palm Wall 'Pink'

My whole little mental health journey is taking some interesting turns.
It's become apparent to me that there are far more negative energies in me that I was aware of. I mean, I know I'm not perfect - show me someone who is, but recently I have really begun to notice some disturbing patterns. It's not malicious, but sometimes I am hurting so much because of some ridiculous ideals I have in my head, I end up purposefully causing pain to someone else. Misery loves company, right?
Let me explain a little more.
I am not delusional enough to think that I am always right, but part of me is delusional enough to think that I am always right. That means there's a constant struggle in me, the knowing deep down that 1. I cannot control other people and their reactions to my actions and/or words, and 2. sometimes, I'm the toxic one.
Naturally, that fills me with absolute fear, because I don't WANT to be toxic, ever.
Ultimately, now I have recognized these disturbing bad habits, my goal is to change the way I approach those situations. I'm pretty old now, so undoing that amount of "oops no" is gonna be pretty tough, but it's baby steps! As with everything I am discovering about myself and the world around me, I am going to be taking three steps forwards.. before freewheeling two steps back and then starting again.
I'm grateful for those who see the good in me, regardless of my ew, and have been reminded regularly of the quote;

"What you value, you invest in."

and sometimes, you need to invest in you.

All of the things : 

Body : Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body  
Skin (Body) : S.E  BODY SKIN 
Head : LeLutka Bento Head-MAY 
Eyeliner : Just Magnetized - Classic Liner set 01
Septum & Bindi : 3. ^^Swallow^^ Supreme  Gold and Strawberry 02 (Gacha)
Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears
Hairbase : Tableau Vivant (I'm not sure of the exact one, but it's for lelutka!)
Hair : [e] Karina
Tattoo : Izzie's - Metallic Arrow Tattoo
Dress : .miss chelsea. Elia Dress @ Kustom9 (Opens tomorrow, 15th Sept)
Shoes : {Zaara} Padma Mojari shoes 

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