Monday, 7 January 2019

Emptying my lungs.

Pose & Bench : Ana Poses - Isfahan TMD

Location : My homestead (kinda public, kinda not.. be nice!)

So yesterdays adventure into the real world was absolutely freakin' exhausting.
I've started getting really, really anxious before something happens that means I have to leave the house, and although I DID manage to go to my parents special Anniversary dinner, it was nothing short of a miracle, 
At around 5am Sunday morning, having not yet slept and knowing I'd be leaving the house at around 10am, I found myself in my kitchen having a bit of a melt-down. I wish I could explain all the thoughts in my head, but anyone who has a tendency to overthink and/or suffers with anxiety will be able to tell you it'll start with something very simple, and end up with your chest heaving while you're clinging on to the kitchen cabinets for dear life while the kettle boils somewhere in the far off distance.
I did consider saying I couldn't make it. Just for a minute, of course... but I knew if I said no this time, it might be a really long time before I said yes again, and I can't have that. I have to do these ridiculously basic things with the people I love, not just for them, but for me.
The advantage of my managing to drag my half-undead body from my flat to the restaurant was that I ate a bloody amazing meal, and my dad got inebriated while my brother, who was driving, sulked playfully at being sober over his rather yummy looking steak.

All in all, it was totally worth the anxiety and I'm glad I didn't miss another family milestone.

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body
Skin : [theSkinnery] Luca (Catwa Applier) 
Body Skin : Clef de Peau.
Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley
Glasses :  MIRROR - Lamour Glasses @ TMD
Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 
Hairbase : Stealthic Male Hairbase
Hair : Modulus - Miles Hair @ TMD
Tattoo : *Bolson / Tattoo Cronopios Collection - Knoxx 
Jacket & Shirt : BlankLine Jacket @ TMD
Jeans : GUTCHI - Bandana Denim Premium @ TMD

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